Today we had our bi-annual dentist appointment for all four kids. The appointments are for the kids, but I feel like the judging is for me. Any cavity is acknowledgment that I'm not doing my job. Any low brushing score shows what an inattentive father I am. Any vomit means that I ignored the standing order to not feed my children before an appointment. (Just to clarify, my children have thrown up on the hygienists so many times that they have a big red reminder in their records to call me before the appointment to remind me not to feed them. Hair trigger gag reflexes, no sword swallowers in the family.) Because my kids aren't big enough to be responsible for their own dental care, I am, an if they fail at any part of the checkup, it's my failure. The whole thing is unbelievably stressful.
Today was a great day though. Nobody threw up. Nobody had any cavities. Everyone had a good brush score. The only little thing was my youngest son screaming at the top of his lungs when he was getting his x-rays. You would have thought that they were holding his foot down into a tank of piranhas for all of the noise he was making. It freaked the other parents in the waiting room out and I felt the need to reassure them that the noise they were hearing was my child not theirs. They visibly relaxed. One said "thank god". It was really a minor thing though because I knew who it was, I knew why he was upset, and I knew he'd be just fine, and he was.
He even got a little parachute man for his prize and we celebrated the good appointment by pitching him off of the second story staircase on the way out of the building. Usually I don't do things like that in public, we have to wait until we're home. I was in a good mood though. It's hard not to be when you've been judged, and the verdict is awesomeness.
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