What's Next? #1

What will you do when they're in school? Are you going back to work? What are you going to do next? Sometimes I wonder how often stay at home moms get these questions, because I get them a LOT. It seems like everybody wants to know what I'm going to do when I'm done. Done? I don't even know what that is. It's true that I don't have babies any more and there aren't any more coming. No more diapers, no more bottles, no more potty training. That's gone. My youngest is still at home all day with the exception of 3 hours twice a week for preschool. For the time being, I'm still needed around here, just not like I was a few years ago. For the first time I'm seriously thinking about what to do when I'm technically done with this whole stay at home dad thing. I think the official end will be the first day of all day school for my last child. From that point on I'll have just shy of 8 hours a day five days a week that I'll be all alone. At that point I won't be a stay at home dad any longer, I'll just be a guy without a job.

I used to be busy with babies. What do I do now?

My wife doesn't like the idea of me getting a job. She's quick to point out that there's an hour between when she's leaves for work and when the kids leave for school. Then there's things like doctors appointments and orthodontist appointments that she never has to worry about. If a kid forgets their lunch, I've got it covered. They're sick? Daddy is here. School holidays are actually a treat for her because so many people have to stay at home with their kids that traffic on the commute is lighter. Quite frankly, she likes being able to focus on work while at work. She likes being on equal footing with the men she works with, they don't have to make special accommodations for her because she has to make sure that her kids are taken care of when she has to go out of town. She can always go, the kids are always taken care of. How much time she wants to spend away is another matter, but she always can. Part of the reason that women get paid less in this country (and many others) for equal work is because they have more family obligations than men. They have to take more time off to take care of sick kids, they have to juggle their schedules more, and they're less able and willing to travel. That's not how it should be, but it's how it is, unless you have some sort of support structure like lots of close family nearby or a stay at home dad backing you up. As long as you have kids, you have an obligation to make sure that if you're not directly taking care of them, somebody is. After school care, sick days, school holidays, and summer vacations all need to be dealt with. I'm well aware that most couples raising kids in America today deal with all of it while both of them work. It's not a matter of whether we could do it in a technical sense, it's a matter of do we want to? My wife has made it quite clear that if it was up to her, she'd rather I did not find a job when all of the kids are in school. Awesome.
Well, sort of awesome. It feels good to be valued that much, I really does, but if I've got almost 8 hours a day by myself, what the hell am I going to do?
To be continued.........