Softening Dwarf Bread

In the Discworld series of books by Terry Pratchett there are dwarfs, amongst other things, and the dwarfs have dwarf bread. Dwarf bread is a staple of the dwarf civilization and it has some interesting properties, such as it's ability to enable the eater to survive off a single loaf for several days (by making you realize that you're surrounded by other things that look more edible), never going stale (possibly because it's always stale), though it's primary use for the dwarfs is that of a weapon. When experimenting with bread, I've made a few loaves that could be considered dwarf bread. They taste fine, but actually eating them is hard work. Inevitably what's missing from my baking is some sort of fat. Adding fat to any bread recipe will yield a more tender loaf. The reverse is also true, if you take out some fat, your bread will build some body. The toughest, weapons grade, loaves of bread consist of nothing but water, flour, salt and some sort of yeasty stuff. If you happen upon a recipe that is fantastically tasty but takes heavy machinery to cut and chew, add one tablespoon of olive oil (or butter) and try it again. The bread will be softer and more edible, especially for kids. Don't ever be afraid to change a recipe to suit your taste. Learn what each ingredient does and how varying it will change the outcome of your baking. Add some variety, it's the spice of life after all.
Having said all of that, it's Shrove Tuesday today and you should all be making pancakes for dinner tonight.  This is the one day of the year where it's not only ok to make pancakes for dinner, it's actually encouraged. If you're only going to be Catholic one day a year, forget Christmas or Easter, be a catholic on Shrove Tuesday.