Boxes

Little kids like boxes
They like to climb inside
Pretend that they are on a boat
And take them for a ride

Baby My Baby

Baby my baby
Could you maybe
Not poop on me today

Your clothes look fine
And so do mine
Could they stay that way?

Baby my baby
Could you maybe
Not poop on me today

Each day this week
You diaper has leaked
In a most disgusting way

Baby my baby
Could you maybe
Not poop on me today

You wrinkle your face
Poop all over the place
Both stinky again today

My Boy

I look at you my last born child
You are my youngest son
I just can't help but ask myself
If I've done all I should have done

Did we sit and read enough
Learning letters side by side
Or was I to busy running around
Taking kids for ride after ride

Did I hold you close to share our thoughts
Things quiet as a mouse
Or were those times swallowed up
By the chaos in the house

I know that your life is different
When you are the youngest one
There's more people to help you out
Dad's not the only one

I'm always trying to do everything
It's so hard to know what to do
I just hope the choices made
Were right for me and you

Missing Dinner

When my wife is away from home
Working late or at a meeting
I don't quite put the effort in
to what the kids and I are eating

It's still good food, and tasty too
I pay attention to nutrition
But without my wife to serve it to
It's not the same sort of mission

No four course meal, no pretty food
No fancy candle light
Just hot and brown and tasty
Is all they get tonight

I've made her meals for 13 years
Still here so I say bless her
After all these years and all those meals
I still want to impress her

Bloody Foot

You come walking up to me
Your foot a bloody red
I ask in horror "What did you do?"
"I don't know" you said

Were you cut by a shell or a rock
Or bit by a bear or a whale?
"I stepped on something sharp" you said
"While running down the trail"

Come here my boy, I'll patch you up
And send you off for fun
But next time be more careful
And watch out where you run

You stop fussing very quick
And ask me on a whim
"Does my giant bleeding foot
Mean that I can't swim?"

Christmas Vacation

We just finished our Christmas vacation
It might be the best that we've had,
Whoever decided to call it vacation
Sure wasn't a stay at home dad!

The Beetle

There's a beetle in my coffee
Not swimming
No he's dead
He stopped on top to take a sip
He slipped and
Drowned instead

There's a beetle in my coffee
He fell in
With a plop
He's black and big and I can't see
Him floating
At the top

I'm frozen with a sleepy look
In horror I
Wonder, why?
If I don't get my sweet caffeine
I fear that
I might die

I had so little coffee left
I could only
Make one cup
If this one's bad there is no more
I don't want
To give it up

I probably should just throw it out
But it is
My belief
That I should just be careful
And strain it
With my teeth

He's on the bottom lying there
He kind of
Freaks me out
I had to save my coffee
But him
I will throw out


This poem is inspired by true events. Ewwwwwww.......

Guest Poet

Twas the Night Before My Birthday

Twas the night before my birthday, and all through the house

Only I was stirring, jumpier than a mouse.

Streamers were hung by my doorway with care,

In hopes that some presents soon would be there.

I jumped off the walls, and I'm happy to say

I'd be turning ten the upcoming day

I'd asked for some awfully big presents this year,

Certainly bigger than toys around here.

And in the kitchen, there arose such a clatter

I snuck down the stairs to see what was the matter.

I saw it was Mother making the din

Surrounded by pans, what a sight she was in!

She sat in a chair with an excited look,

Flipping madly through the recipe-book.

And what to my wondering nose should I smell

But batter in the hands of eight singing elves!

They held some batter so shiny and red,

I knew in a moment they were making shortbread!

The need for ingredients began to appear,

So she clapped, and shouted, as you will soon hear:

“Get sugar, get flour, get water too!

Get cocoa, get nuts, and frosting, only blue.

Grab sprinkles and milk, we're wasting daylight!

We must make a cake for my daughter tonight!”

As dry leaves before a hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the pantry her helpers they flew

With a mixing bowl, and ingredients too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the next room,

My dad's tired feet stomping-BOOM, BOOM!

As I covered my mouth and was turning around,

Into the kitchen my dad came with a bound.

He was dressed all in P.J.s from his toe to his head

And with an expression like he'd just come out of bed.

A cold cup of coffee he held in his hand,

And it looked like he'd fallen from a separate land

His eyes were so tired, his smile not there,

And it looked like a rat had crawled into his hair

His pajamas were wrinkled from a fitful sleep,

He'd stayed up too long just counting sheep.

He went straight to my mom, who'd finished my cake,

Her elves had set it in the oven to bake.

He called to her, “Hey, I've got Lela's present!”

(The mailman had winked and said it was pleasant!)

He went to quickly help my mom wrap the gift,

Then he went and told her it was the end of her shift.

He'd guard the cake while she was away,

She had to rest up for work the following day.

My dad gave her a good-night hug

Before putting hot coffee into his mug.

Taking a sip, he sat down to wait,

Knowing he'd prob'ly be staying up late.

I wanted to scream(I didn't), instead,

I crept up the stairs and snuck into bed,

Whispering to myself as I walked out of sight,

“Happy birthday to you, and to you a good night!”

Note: My daughter had an assignment for school that she wanted me to read. Quite frankly, it's better than the drivel I write on here and I thought it deserved wider recognition. I hope you enjoyed it. 

Tree Hunting

My kids woke up this winter day

Fields of Beauty

Put on shorts and a Tee
It's how you dress
When you're in Texas
To cut down your Christmas Tree

The day was pretty, the Trees were green
The search was long and hot
We looked here and
We looked there
To find beauty, we did not

An ugly tree, a lonely tree
Finally caught our eye`
No one else will
Pick this tree
If we go and walk on by

We chopped it down, a mighty fall
This ugly weird shaped tree
We brought it home
And dressed it up
Now it's pretty as can be

Shark Teeth

One million shells here on this beach
Push them aside and flip over each
They sure are pretty and shiny as well
But I don't care about any old shell
What I am looking for might be underneath
I want to find some fossil shark teeth









At the end of our trip we took a two and a half hour detour to visit a beach that is known for it's fossil shark's teeth. I've got to say, the beach was beautiful and the shells were perfect and beautiful as well. We hardly noticed. We were intensely searching for the teeth, and we found them. We still need to lay them all out and figure out which ones came from which species, but we have somewhere around 50 teeth of various quality. For a family like ours, this sort of detour was totally worth it.

I took a few days
And went a long ways
To spend a few days alone

I'm glad that I did
But I miss my kids
It's time for me to come home








Just about done with my annual trip to the woods. Ready to come home now.

Realization

We have a brand new baby
She just came home today

That's a happy baby. I'm clearly good at this. 

She spends her time
With my wife
Sleeping and nursing away

There's not much for me to do
When she is very small
Because I lack
two full boobs
I'm not much use at all

But I can still change diapers
And hold her which is neat
My wife can stretch
Her weary legs
And get a bite to eat

Soon my wife is back to work
Warm bottles are the food
New girl and me
On our own
Now I am truly screwed

Editorial note: This is about our first baby and it's a little dramatic. My daughter and I did very well when my wife went back to work. It was a little overwhelming (if something can be just a little overwhelming) when the house first emptied of well wishers, then in-laws  then my wife, and I found myself alone with a baby, truly getting down to the business of stay at home dadding. Turned out just fine.

Pumpkin Guts

Pumpkin guts, pumpkin guts, there on the floor
Pumpkin guts, pumpkin guts, scoop out some more
You first took a knife and opened his head
Now should he look happy or scary instead?

What kind of eyes, round triangle square?
How 'bout his nose? Should he have hair?
Do you put teeth in his mouth open wide?
Will you carve ears over there on each side?

You're almost done and he's looking grand
Be careful my boy and don't stab your hand!
Those pumpkin guts make it easy to slip
The last thing we need is a hospital trip

Looks like you're done, his smile is so wide
Grab him, be careful! Let's take him outside
Light up the candle, now watch him glow
I could stand for hours just watching this show

Pumpkin guts, pumpkin guts, clean up the floor
Pumpkin guts, pumpkin guts, look there's some more
The house smells of pumpkin, it will for a while
I close my eyes, I sniff, and I smile

Driving Dad

Where he grew up. 

Today I drove one hundred miles
Hauling around my kids
Sit right back and listen to
All the things we did

I drove and dropped the first two off
At school and drove away
Then I dropped the third one off
To enjoy her short school day

I drove the fourth one to his school
And for a little fun
While he was learning ABC's
I did a five mile run

Then I picked the fourth one up
It had been a little while
"It's time to go to the dentist now"
I told his teacher with a smile

We drove and picked up two and three
It was time to head back south
Then we picked up number one
To check the teeth in their mouth

We got done, no cavities
I dropped off two and three
Then I dropped off number one
And she said "Bye!" to me

Then I went home for lunch and nap
Four was a sleepy son
You might think that I'll rest too
But my day is not yet done

I need to wake up number four
Drag him back to the car
We need to pick up two and three
The drive isn't very far

Then to pick up number one
What a wonderful day I've had
They should not call me "stay at home"
I'm more of a driving dad

Run

Someday will finally be the day
I'll wake up with the sun
I'll pull on my shorts, and lace up my shoes
But won't be able to run

So few times can I stand in line
And hear the starting gun
All of us there in our shorts and shoes
Heading out on the run

So even though I'm tired today
And sitting sounds more fun
I'll pull on my shorts and lace up my shoes
And enjoy that I can run


So I've been running again and feeling all the better for it. I want to race again and my daughter wants to race with me. She's been working up to a 5K and I''m trying to get faster at that distance. I've only got a few more years before she'll be faster than me.

Dancing Goalie

In every single soccer game
Goalie's something that we play
It can be exciting
When the ball is kicked your way

You have to stop the speeding ball
Then throw it right back out
The fans all get excited
They clap and also shout

But when the ball is finally kicked
Down to the other end
You stand there sad and lonley
No one is close at hand

Some times your mind will wander
And you'll look down at the ants
Sometimes you stick your arms out wide
And do a twirling dance

Hurl

My little girl has just hurled
While running down the stairs
There's hurl on her shirt
And hurl on her shorts
And hurl all through her hair

It turns out she wasn't faking
When she said her tummy ached
I told her to finish
Up all her veggies
That was a huge mistake

Boy on my Back

I'm not actually sleeping. Shhhhhhh. 

I've got a child asleep on my back
He's quietly sleeping up there
I want to sit down
I'm desperately tired
But stopping, I really don't dare

He was cranky this morn so we took a walk
We walked up and down the street
He settled down
And I have some peace
As long as I stay on my feet

The Floor

You should know before you go
Before you step out the door
If you leave me home alone
I'm going to poop on the floor

You know I'm am a broken dog
My life was bad before
I simply cannot help myself
I'm going to poop on the floor

When you leave my by myself
I feel shame and anger and more
No better way to express my pain
I'm going to poop on the floor

I give you one last pleading glance
Before you shut the door
I'm sad, I'm bad - I can't stop myself
I'm going to poop on the floor

This poem was inspired by true events. Yay for rescue dogs. I guess I'm happy that it's about the dog and not one of the children. I guess. Not that I leave my children alone, I don't, but I still don't expect them to express any sort of fecal outrage in the future either.

Car Rider Line

Here I sit in the car rider line
Waiting for my kids.
I could have sent them on the bus,

READY!

But that isn't what I did

I like to see them off to school
To see that all is good
I make sure that they have brought
Their homework and their food

I wait in line to pick them up
Ask them about their day
I talk to them about their friends
The things they do and say

They'd do just find on the bus
There's nothing there that's bad
But I like them here in the car with me
To spend more time with dad